In the Angels' Watch

Well.. I don't know if you believe in Angels, but I sure do. It has nothing to do with my accident. I've believed in their existence always. Why..? Because the Bible says so, that's why..! Stories of Angels intervening in the lives of people, whether they're from the Bible or from the stories of men and women of our times, have always inspired a sense of awe. I believe that these heavenly beings move amidst us, invisible to our physical eyes yet perfectly capable of intervening in our lives when God wills them to. 

 

After my fall, I'm pretty sure that God sent His army of Angels to look after me. Surely they would've worked overtime to bring me safely to the hospital and then to look at me as I lay there in the ICU. But these Angels aren't the ones I'm going to talk of here. In this post I wish to talk about the moments I shared with some of the mere mortal brings who worked overtime to look after me. The ones who made my stay in 'hell on earth' a little manageable. The nurses.

 

Loneliness was among the most harshest of things that I had to bear when I was lying in the ICU. Sometimes it hurt me even more than all the physical pain involved. And that I'd saying a lot about how hard it was. But these people helped ease me of this burden by their love and care.

 

Sisters or brothers, they always did everything they needed to do with love. I'm not a person who based my actions on what people around me thought about me, but I can't say I'm someone who never cared about how people saw me. In that vulnerable state, if they saw me as a burden andwere rude or rough, I'm sure amidst all the emotional turmoil I would've felt far more miserable. 

 

But they weren't anything like that. They did their work diligently and with grace. If I was ever in need of anything, I could just call them and they would be more that willing to help me out. One night, I was having trouble falling asleep (that's a common problem. In fact I remember going through a continuous stretch of a few days without falling asleep even for a whole hour). 

 

I became so restless and irritated because of that, so I kept trying to change positions. As I couldn't do it all by myself, I had to call the brother who was looking after me. And call I did; once, twice and many more times all night. I sometimes called him 15 mins after doing it once to change my position again. Yet he never once got annoyed with me. He always made me feel that I could call him whenever I needed. That's the way all those looking after me did their work.

 

The nurses always greeted me with the brightest of smiles. They made some small talk even if I couldn't reply properly ( I had a tracheostomy ). Some would come out of their way to tell me that they're praying for me, and all would be well soon. They could've easily been content with doing their work and not bothering about all this. Who could've questioned them..? Their work is only related to nursing services, not cheering up the patient. Yet, they took it upon themselves to do all this.

 

When I was going through the toughest phase of my life, these people managed to make me feel special. I always felt that they wanted me to get better. I felt as though every time they saw me,they willed me to get well soon. When I missed my family, they looked after me like I was one of their own. I felt like I was a brother to each of them.

 

They weren't all like this from the beginning though. There were a few who intimidated me. Not many, just a few. I felt they weren't enjoying the work that they were doing. When I couldn't bear some pain, if I did something to disturb their work they'll get annoyed and angry. But even they, as time went past, started to be much more kinder. And in they end, they too became like brothers and sisters.

 

Sometimes I wonder, were those nurses always so kind to each of their patients..? Or like the ones I mentioned in the end, were they tough people in whose eyes I found special favor..? I can never know it. But one thing I know for sure is that either way I must be grateful to God. 

 

If the people came under the first category, I have to be thankful to God for bringing such people together to look after me. He had brought the best doctors together when I needed them. And He brought the best nurses too. If they were like the ones mentioned later, I must thank God for helping me to find favour in the sight of these people. The more I think, the longer my list of reasons to thank God and Jesus Christ His son keeps growing..

When you can't trust your Mind!

I recently watched the Russell Crowe starrer, 'A Beautiful Mind'. In the movie, the man at the center of the story suffers from schizophrenia, a condition that doesn't allow him to tell the difference between what is real and what is not. I was reminded how even I, during my days in the ICU, had to go through a similar struggle.

When I was in the ICU, I was under heavy medication for the pains all over my body. There was the wound on my back, three lengthy sutures on my abdomen, three holes on the sides of my torso and many procedures on my insides which might've caused severe pain too. But these medications which served to ease the pain in my body, increased the pain in my mind. I started hallucinating.

There were a few amusing things my mind cooked up. I actually believed with conviction that the ICU room that housed me was in a corridor that was inside an air-conditioned vegetable shop opposite to the flat where I lived. Yes, that's exactly what I believed. And FYI there's no such vegetable shop opposite to my flat across the road ( ..though there is one two blocks to the left of my house ). When I wasn't believing I was in the Veggie Shop ICU, I had a few other places to visit on a regular basis.

Imagining I was in a warehouse in Ponneri was another weird hallucination. I imagined that my bed was perhaps feet away from a dusty road in that small town. I can actually put a finger on the reason why I had thought up of this. Ponneri is a town a few miles away from Chennai city. I had gone there for a function a few days before the accident. But of course, there's no logical explanation as to how an ICU ward can just pop up out of nowhere in such a place.

Other locations where I thought my ward was include, a private clinic of one of my treating doctors and lastly a hospital. Yes, for once my mind did spin a much more rational yarn. But I believed I was in the fourth floor of the hospital for some reason when the building I was actually in had only two floors and I was on the first floor. So even that wasn't true. 

All those places acted as the backdrop for some drama. I would have a vivid and realistic dream and I would wake up, but never snap out of the dream. I would believe whatever I saw in my dream happened in reality and it was like that for a few weeks. You could say that these things aren't what one would call 'painful'. I mean, when your stuck in one room and had nowhere else to actually go to, it would be nice to imagine being in other places right..? Well, maybe, but these weren't the only things my mind made up..

Imagine this situation. You're having a nightmare. And when I say nightmare, I'm not about the ones with ghosts and demons, but nightmares that get personal.. Ones where you imagine bad things happening to you and the people you love the most. Usually when you wake up you'll know that whatever happened wasn't real, it was just a dream. But imagine if you wake up and your mind can't really tell the difference between dream and reality. You truly believe that all those excruciatingly painful things that you saw in those dreams actually took place. You believe those lies for days and sometimes weeks. Yes, that's how it gets torturous.

I can still remember most of those 'nightmares'. But I'll share just one of them. One that really took a toll on me emotionally..

I dreamt that the accident had become a financial disaster to my parents. I imagined that they had to spend all their life's savings in order to pay for my treatment, and were still in need of more. In reality, even though the cost of surgery, treatment and rehabilitation left a big hole in my parents pocket, finance hasn't been our biggest worry. God has been kind to my family over the years. We have been blessed with what we need and more than just basic necessities. But when I was in the ICU, I believed we were totally broke.

From a young age I had the sense of comfort that my parents were financially settled. I never felt the pressure to provide for them. The only motivation I had to work and enter a well paying job was so that they would be proud of me, and nothing more. I wasn't ever the most ambitious of young adults. So when this nightmare left this idea in my mind, that I had spoilt their lives post retirement, it hit me hard.

The thought weighed me down. I felt guilty and helpless. I wanted to end the treatment and go back home. I wanted to go out and work. I wasn't thinking straight. I couldn't. In that moment I couldn't even understand the situation I was in. I was so depressed. I was given a taste of what madness is. And the worst part of it all was that I was worrying and bothered for troubles that weren't even real.

And this wasn't even the only thing I worried about. Those nightmares made me think I had lost so much more that meant to me, some of which I don't even have the courage to speak of. I kept weeping and worrying every minute. I felt pain on all sides, physical and emotional. And there was no one to give me hope. Without doubt it was the darkest phase of my life.

Even in those days of darkness, one light didn't fail to shine on me. I distinctly remember the joy I felt when I read the Bible and listened to songs that spoke about the love of God. I felt my burdens being taken away. I just trusted on God to lead me out of this mess. While reading the Word of God I came across this passage.. 

“I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.” (Psalms 40:1-2 KJV)

I knew for sure that God is looking upon me in my difficulties. And He wasn't just observing, but He was willing to help. He has given His promise to pull me out of the mess that I was in and to set my feet upon a rock. For a person who's unable to walk and has so many other problems how much better than that can a promise get..? I believed it and it allayed my fears. I believe it now too. Till this day, I'm happy because I trust in Him.

NOW: Challenge - COMPLETE !

[ Posts tagged NOW are recent events that I share nearly immediately after the events take place. This is to avoid confusion with the timeline of events. If you wish to read about my life in chronological order, skip the posts tagged 'NOW' ]

Before I kicked off the start of my week long abstinence from the internet, I wasn't sure of how it was going to be. Ever since the accident, since my mobility has been compromised and I'm confined to my bed, I keep myself occupied almost solely with either my mobile or with my iPad. So I had no idea how it was going to be without them.

The first day was hard. I felt as though I was almost caught off guard. I read my Bible for a duration much longer than usual, I tried to watch a few messages online, but when I wasn't doing either I felt so empty almost. I didn't know what I could do. I felt the urge to pick up my phone and start a convo with my girl, who I started to miss in this short duration. I felt like I could login to twitter, or start a game and while away my time. But with the strength of God I was able to resist.

My mum noticed the bewildered look on my face and asked me what's up. I told her during the weekend that I would be doing what I was doing so she caught up quickly. She reminded me the importance of the fast where if you're undergoing some sort of self imposed abstinence for The Lord, it was important to keep the suffering inside and never allow yourself to show others. 

I always believed in the same. If you fast and show others that you're suffering for the sake of the Lord then it is a fast for the sake of men. But if you can keep all your emotions under check and put on a normal cheerful face while you undergo it, then it pleases God. So from then on, whenever frustration crept in I learnt to keep it within myself.

I couldn't say I spent all my entire week for the Lord. I didn't lock myself up. So whenever I was around people, my parents, sis and other relatives, I would just be chatting with em. But in the usual gaps during my day when I'm alone, I spent it with God. And it was quite a blessed few days.

Daily activities in solitude included reading the Bible, reading Christ-centric articles, watching Christian videos, listening to gospel rock music and the likes. I even dusted up my old guitar that I had never learnt to play properly and gave a shot at the few chords and scales I knew. So overall I could look back and tell myself that it was time well spent.

Overall it wasn't just about those seven days. Even after I finished the fast I've been able to have a better control over myself. I'm able to resist the urge to indulge in stuff that jus took a solid bite of my time. Stuff like twitter, watching cricket or football top the list. But I hope to do everything, yet with more restraint.

So that's just how my week has been. If you're one of those young people who's always looking into your phone and deep inside your heart you have to desire to look up ( to the heavens, and get closer to God ) then do give this a try. Since not many would have a whole lotta time like I do at present, you could pick a day when you'll be free from your regular work and give it a shot. I can assure you, it does make you feel better within.

Well, so that's just how my week went. Hope sharing this was useful to whoever it is that stumbles across this page. May the Lord bless you.

Thirst!

Thirst! That's all, just the raw desire to have water run down your throat. If you've read about my description of the moments after the accident, you'd remember that I cried for water. But from then on, right upto the moment I opened my eyes, my thrist hadn't been quenched. And it wasn't for a few more weeks.

I longed to drink juices. I could only think of all the wonderful tastey drinks that I had in the recent past and satisfy my senses. During those weeks my thirst had reached so desperate levels that the mere thought of gulping water down my throat gave me immense pleasure. 

As a kid one of the parts of the Bible that really scared me to the core was the parable of 'The Rich Man and Lazarus'. Apart from the message Jesus wished to convey, the aspects of the parable that freaked me out was the way in which it described hell. 

The rich man who lived a luxurious life in which he had no concern for the less fortunate, was thrown in hell. But the poor begger Lazarus, who ate of the crumbs that fell off the rich mans table went to heaven. From hell the rich man looks up and sees Lazarus standing beside Father Abraham. Suffering from thirst in the burning fires of hell, the rich man asks Father Abraham to send Lazarus with a finger dipped in water, so that he can cool the rich mans tongue. But he cannot recieve even that much in hell. Father Abraham declines.

In the ICU the thirst I had was similar to what the rich man felt. I asked the nurses to do very little as to give me water from the cap of a bottle or to wet my tongue. But I recieved neither. Thanks to God, those sufferings were only for a matter of a few weeks, and not as the eternal suffering as hell. 

Once they changed me to the second tracheostomy tube in was allowed to finally drink water. It was such a huge relief when I gulped my first cup of orange juice. Tender coconut water and watermelon juice I drank to my fill. I really cannot describe the happiness I felt as I quenched my thirst.

Now it's over a year and a couple of months since those events. I have water and juices in abundance. As I write this post, I'm reminded well of the times when I suffered without something as simple and easily available as water. I guess every time I am thirsty, I should count the water that I drink as a blessing from God.

The most unbearable pain I've ever felt..

Soon after regaining consciousness I was introduced to the worst pain that I have ever felt , and hopefully the worst I will ever feel in the remainder of my life. 

I had said earlier that during my accident I was dragged along the road stuck between the lorry tire and the tar road. I had said about how the weight of the lorry crushed the organs in the left side of my torso and a bit of my chest. But what I hadn't said was about the damages to a major portion of my back.

As my body was dragged along the surface of the road initially majority of the top skin on my back was torn away. Anyone who has fallen on the road and grazed along know how much of a pain that can be. Most people would have such a scar on their knees or elbows. But the damage didn't stop there for me.

Under the crushing weight of the water lorry, the friction between the two surfaces increased the temperature to a very high degree. And without the top layer of skin to cover it, the damage was severe. Doctors compared the wound on my back to a burn rather than an abrasion.

Surprisingly the dermatologists involved decided that no surgery would be required and spared me the pain of plastic surgery, where some skin from my thigh would've been taken and grafted on to my back. But I was soon to find out, that that was the only pain that I was spared from.

The second incident I remember after I opened my eyes was pain, pure raw pain. The wound was kept dressed, and even though I lay on it, I felt little discomfort. But when it was time for my daily bed bath, it had to be changed. And unfortunately there wasn't an easy way to do it. The dressing simply had to be pulled out.

The dressing pad was about 70 % the size of my back. And it was stuck on to my back with the help of micropore tapes. Micropore tapes are like cello tapes, but they stick on in a more skin friendly manner than cello tapes. 

So first things first, they had to remove the micropore tape. As each micropore was removed, the smaller hair follicles on my back would get pulled out. Ouch ! I would imagine that would be something people who wax their skin feel like. Painful, but it wasn't that bad. They had to turn me from side to side as they did this.

As my left rib cage had fractures, lying on my left side was quite a discomfort. But as I couldn't lie on my chest yet, this had to be done. Once they removed the micropores, it was time for the real pain. 

The wound was still very raw that it would stick to the dressing. But what's gotta be done, should be done. They would pull the dressing out by force. Every time they did it I felt as if my skin was being torn away. Maybe that was just what happened. My skin was being torn away perhaps, again. 

To ease my pain some saline water would be poured over my wound. The cool water would have a mild soothing effect. But nothing can perhaps fully cover the pain.

They say that shouting or swearing improves your pain tolerance. Unfortunately I couldn't do that either. For a majority of days when I was in the ICU I was under tracheostomy, and I couldn't utter a sound through my mouth. I would open my mouth and try to cry in pain, but there would be no sound. Only a few tears would escape my eyes. 

In order to keep me from pulling out a few tubes by mistake I would be held in place by one nursing staff as another worked on my back. So no moving, no shouting, I just had to patiently suffer the pain. And I did just that, for about three weeks till the scar tissue started forming and the pain began to subside. Some days I was more patient, some days less. But either ways not a word could escape my lips.

The dressing became a routine activity. Morning and evening, twice a day on most days. Sometimes if there was a need it was also done a third time.

People sometimes look at me in this state, unable to walk and all, and they wonder how I could be so happy. Firstly, it is the hope that everything will be fine soon and that God will work a miracle in my life. But secondly, it is the fact that I'm no longer going through pain that I once had to go through. Tell me, wouldn't you be relieved, happy and grateful if God took away so much pain from your life ?

NOW: A Spiritual Exercise

[ Posts tagged NOW are recent events that I share nearly immediately after the events take place. This is to avoid confusion with the timeline of events. If you wish to read about my life in chronological order, skip the posts tagged 'NOW' ]

Starting today, the 10th of July 2014, I'm trying out something new that I hope will help me in my relationship with the Lord. 

Fasting was always an act of faith that I could never really understand. I've seen many people who've done it, and those who do it on a regular basis. I thought it was a piece of superstition until I actually started reading the Bible. The Lord Himself says that prayer and fasting is a special combination that can enable one to do great things ( Mark 9:29 ).

But what could be so special about not eating your food ? Well, it is more than just skipping meals. When we keep ourselves from eating, we are denying ourselves something that our body craves for. The fact that we are doing this with the sole reason of pleasing our Lord, makes it special in God's eyes. 

In my life however, food is something that I do not even enjoy much. Even while eating I have a mobile or tab in hand, and my mind explores various things. I wouldn't even remember what I ate for breakfast or lunch on most days. If there is ever a thing in my life that keeps me away from doing what is right in Gods sight it is this technology. I am connected to the internet almost always. And even without a job or any kind of work to do I am a busy body 24x7.

Now if fasting is the denying of what the body craves, what I wish to do is to deny my minds cravings. I am going to stay away from the things that I mindlessly do on my phone, tab or computer keeping myself busy all day. And I am doing this with no other reason, but to get closer to Jesus, and to build a better relationship with Him while I'm stuck in bed.

I don't want to confuse what I'm doing with the Biblical fasting. Spiritually, doing this may not give me the same benefits of fasting the body. Biblical fasting of the body is the only fasting that has promises from God. But I hope that I will come closer to God in the days I spend by fasting my mind.

I fast my mind under the following conditions :

I will not use my mobile / tablet unless it is to,

- read the Bible/ hear sermons/ watch shows that discus the faith/ listen to Gospel music

- respond to elders ( people who you could not ignore ), via mail or msgs if I am contacted. So naturally, I will check my SMS and email. ( these are things I do out of obligation rather than to please my mind. And I hardly ever spend more than 5 mins a week doing this. So I didn't feel it will deter me much. Hence I added it to the list )

- write Christ themed posts, like this one.

- fulfil my parents/sisters requirements, if any. ( like paying bills and stuff. Clearly I'm doing these stuff for them and not to please my mind )

- read the newspaper online. ( I would otherwise read the physical copy. But this is easier. I limit myself to half an hour a day though )

And that's it. Normal days otherwise. But I'm pretty sure it won't be normal for me.

This is how it's gonna be till next Tuesday. A week without the internet. 

Opening my eyes..

After the operation, I was unconscious for quite some time. I'm still not certain as to how many days passed before I opened my eyes. I was heavily sedated and had no sense of time or space. I didn't know where I was, didn't really know what had been done on me. I just knew that I was alive. 

Once I opened my eyes I was able to observe the place that I would get quite accustomed to over the course of few weeks. I was lying on the bed in what appeared to be a very small room. The tubes, the stands and the beeping apparatus' made me realise that I was in a hospital ward. The effect of the sedatives kept me in a highly confused state. I remember things only vaguely, like how one would recollect a dream that they had the previous night. 

I remember that I was still thirsty. I asked for some water, and the nurse who was in charge told me that I couldn't have it because of some tube that was going in through my mouth. The tracheostomy was yet to be done, so the tubes that supplied oxygen to my lungs went through my mouth. From water to food, everything was fed through my nostrils by means of a Ryles tube. It took perhaps a couple of weeks more before I was allowed to quench my thirst.

At that point I was yet to realise that I couldn't move my legs. In fact I couldn't move almost any part of my body. I was so weak that I couldn't lift my head up by myself. I looked at myself and noticed quite a lot of tubes all over my body. I remember being curious as to what each of those were and remember asking a few questions to the nurse about when and where I was and the like.

That was all I remember of the day when I opened my eyes for the first time after the accident.  

Doctors said, " You fought hard "

When I got discharged from the hospital after 26 intense days, I had a small chat with the doctors before leaving. I wanted to thank them for the huge part they have played in my life. While conversing, one of the doctors said, " As much as we have put in our work, it was also your effort that you are alive right now. You really fought hard. "

Well, I've never been much of a fighter. And what I went through in the course of those 26 days was truly struggles which I could never have imagined ever in my life before the accident. Yet through all those hardships, to my surprise, I really was strong. I never did share my difficulties with neither my parents nor my sister when they came to see me. I knew they would be struggling too. I didn't want to add to their woes. I cried alone.

What I suffered during my days ranged from physical pain to emotions of guilt, of anxiety and of fear. It was hardship in the magnitude of which I had never experienced in my short and pampered stay in this world. There have been times in my life when even lesser struggles have pulled me down. So what was it this time that gave me a strong heart ? A heart to fight for my life, a heart to just survive and come back to see my loved ones ?

I can hardly think of any other reason than this. I fought with the strength I received from God our father. His Word comforted me. He gave me hope through all those burdens. He eased all the worries from my mind. It was truly a miracle that I of all people, a man who never really had to fight for anything in my life fought with strength, for my life.

The moment the doctor said, " You have fought hard", I knew for sure who deserved the praise.

In subsequent posts I wish to share with you all about my experiences in the ICU, focussing on the struggles. I had this debate in my head to see if it really was necessary that people should know about what I went through. I decided that only when you know about all the pains that I went through, will the joy that Christ filled in my heart amidst all those pains, get the right perspective.

I wished to write these posts lot sooner, but the devil as always keeps me from doing the things I wish to do for Jesus. As was with my first three posts, I have again had to pray to God for strength to fight all the seductions of the devil in order to write this post.

So I hope and pray that God gives me His strength yet again to patiently recollect and share my memoirs sooner, and to fight the devil and his deception. If you do read this post, spare a minute and pray for the same. All glory to Christ my King.

God made a way, where there seemed to be no way..

Okay so now that you know all that needs to be known about me and what I was before the accident, let's go on to the most interesting part.. the action sequence. Now I'm going to narrate the happenings around me, how I was transferred from the accident spot to the hospital and how everything seemed to fall in place. It's hard for me right up to this stage, to think of all that happened that evening, and not be amazed at the awesome ( forgive me for a lack of a better word, but when I say awesome, I really mean it, to the full sense of the word ) way in which God makes His plans.

After the fall, which in itself could have caused a few damages, but didn't do much, I opened my eyes, and what I saw was something I can never forget for the rest of my life. A huge lorry tire was spinning toward me. It was just an instant, I thought that was it, end of my life. People generally say that in these life or death moments, your past just flashes before your eyes. Not for me, it was a very short moment. I don't remember even having the thought to call out to Jesus, if my memory serves me right, all I remember saying was " uh, oh.. ". BANG..

After a lot of noise, pain and my body moving forward, stuck between the rubber and road, I realised I was in fact still alive. There I was, lying on the road, chest and abdomen crushed under the immense weight of the water lorry. I was desperately trying to catch my breath, but it was getting ever so hard with each passing second. It was because my lung was punctured. One of the six ribs that were fractured must've done that job.

I felt thirst like I had never felt before. My insides burning as if they were made of hot rubber. I still remember how I felt that moment, surprised to be alive, yet all I wanted then was water. I kept asking " thanni, thanni, yaarachu thanni thaanga " ( water, water, someone give me water ), with as much voice as I could muster. I am not quite sure why I felt that way, but my guess is, it was because of all the internal bleeding, so much blood loss happening on the inside, invisible to the naked eye.

Bystanders, there were a quite a few people in that area at the time, came to my help. They pulled me up, and as I struggled to stand, carried me to an autorickshaw. They took out my mobile and asked me who to call. My first reply was my friend, who was my college mate and coworker. I knew that he was in office, quite close to the spot of the accident. Next, they found my dad's number, and gave him a call. Then they informed the emergency number, to send for an ambulance. Each of these tasks had such a vital purpose in Gods plan.

So they got me into the autorickshaw, and headed in the direction of the hospital, which was a super speciality center, and it was in extremely close proximity. On the way, the ambulance that was called for caught up with the auto and I was transferred to the ambulance. From this point on, my consciousness became quite muddled. Most of what I describe, I came to know only later on. But having heard it from so many people and so many times, I can give you a pretty accurate picture.

I was in a very critical condition as I was admitted in the hospital. Usually in private hospitals in India, it is highly unlikely that doctors would start work on a patient unless they have a proof that you are capable of bearing the expenses of the treatment. And I guess they would need a signature of consent from a family member. I was in a position where neither could be provided. My dad who had just gotten the news was starting from home, which is an over 20km drive through the city. At that time, due to traffic, it would certainly take another one and a half hour minimum to get there. But I didn't have that much time as I was losing pints of blood with each passing minute.

When things look impossible and lost, that's usually when God intervenes to pull you through. That's exactly what happened. My dad on getting the news immediately gave a call to my uncle, who is a doctor, to accompany him. This uncle should have been in Bangladesh at that moment for a conference. Due to some political unrest, that event was cancelled and he was in Chennai. By some chance, he remembered that a colleagues son, who was also a doctor, worked in the very hospital in which I was admitted. He was a very reputed doctor, and had a good say in the establishment. He convinced the management. And so, without a signature, without any financial guarantee, I was taken in, ready to be operated on.

What happened next was something that, if you had seen in a movie, you'd think, " there's no way that can happen.. ". At the time I arrived at the hospital, there was another elderly gentleman, due to be operated on. His case was complex and required the presence of many specialist in the operation theatre. There were seven doctors all ready to attend to him. And I am brought in, extremely critical and in need of immediate attention. I guess you understand what must've happened next.

The doctors approached the family of the elderly gentleman and explained the situation. His case was luckily not as critical as mine and could be postponed for a little while. Yet, it was the grace of God, and a very miraculous one at that, that they accepted to postpone their surgery and allowed me to be attended to. I am still extremely grateful to the people who took that decision, even though I haven't seen them yet. If they hadn't allowed me to be operated on, there is nothing we could've done about it. And I would not have been here writing all this. But I am more thankful to Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Chirst who planned everything out, to keep all the surgeons ready exactly at the time when I needed them. These were all top doctors in their field. Each of them highly required at that stage as I had damages to multiple organs.

And so the operation went on for nearly nine hours like I had said before, and I had to spend another 22 gruelling days in the ICU before I was able to be with my kith and kin. There were many incidents where I see the hand of God during those days, but the beautiful plan that He made for me couldn't be more profoundly visible than in those moments that immediately followed my fall.

My Life: Before 17:30 15-3-2013

I know this blog is meant to be about my challenges after the accident and how I coped with it through Gods help. But, before I get into all those details, I feel I must share with you how my life was before that fateful day. Perhaps some of you might even relate to the kind of person that I was. So let me just start.

I am the second of two children to my parents. My mother works in the banking sector, and my father worked for a private company from where he took an early retirement. As the younger one among the siblings, I must admit, even though my parents were never overtly partial, I did enjoy a lil bit of extra love. My childhood was a wonderful phase. Loving parents, a caring sister, everything I needed and even some extras in the form of toys and stuff that most 90' kids would relate to.

Three things really marked my pre-adolescence, a computer, cartoons and cricket. I would either play or watch cricket, watch cartoons or sit on my computer. Naturally my ambitions, if I could call them that, at that moment of time was related to that. I either wanted to be a fast bowling all rounder, or a game designer. It's funny when I look back now, I never even attempted to be either.

I reached adolescence, and all the pressures of achieving something finally got to me. Cricket took a back seat, all the codes and stuff were forgotten, all I wanted was to score well in my public exams, and get a good name from my family and peers. Now this phase, where I really started to care about my life and it's outcomes was when Jesus started to become a very prominent person in my life.

Till that moment, God was always a very important person yes, but that was only when I had to make a list of important people in my life. My family kept me in the faith, but I hadn't found Christ till then, I wanted to be a good man, not really a good Christian man. I was regular to church, we would never miss a Sunday service. I was active in Sunday school, where I've won many prizes as a child in the exams and competitions. But my personal relationship with God was established only when I really needed him in my life.

As I started preparing for my exams I realised that I was gifted by God with a very good understanding. I needed very little time to learn new concepts. But my powers of concentration was too low. I would spend hours and hours with a book in hand, finishing just a few pages of what I had to study. I realised then that I couldn't do it alone. In my weakness I realised that I needed Jesus' help.

I learnt to trust lesser and lesser on my strengths and more and more on Jesus. As Paul says in his Epistle to the Phillippians " I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me ". From them on at every important phase of my life I headed to Jesus. If I had to take an important decision I prayed. If I was to take a test, conduct an event, face an interview, I did my best in preparing, mostly lesser than other people, but I transferred my burden to God. And He was with me through it all. He exalted me, gave me success in each endeavour I took.

I scored well, far better than my preparations should have gotten me in each test I took. Right from my 10th Grade board exam, my School Finals and each semester in college. In fact for the way I studied in college I was surprised I didn't have any arrear. By the grace of God I obtained all this. I sat for two interviews, the first companies to come to my college, and again God was with me and I was offered a job in both companies. One was TCS, from the IT sector and the other Geometric, an Engineering Services firm. I chose the latter because it was the field I loved.

Through every stage of my life, God was with me. I have never, not once felt forsaken. Jesus has been there for me when I needed, but the thing is, I was never there for Him. I did try to be close to Him, but it was only the challenges in my life that made me seek Him. At other times, I returned to my sinful self. Again and again Christ won over me, only for me to allow the devil to tempt me away from Him. That was the story of my life.

If I hadn't met with the accident, that is most probably what I would be doing even now. My life had entered into a pattern that I couldn't break out of. Unless something of a larger magnitude happened in my life I would never ever get any closer to God, nor would I do something for Him. I have always contemplated a situation, that after I die I would go into judgement and God would ask, " what have you done for me ? ". Now through telling people about how He has touched my life, I have something to do in the name of Christ..